All Kinds of Backward

Things seemed to be  reversed on the street this week. While Fridays are normally busy and crowded, Thursdays are pretty chill. But this week the Friday team said that almost no one was out, while the Thursday team had more than enough people to interact with (especially considering there were about 4 of us).

As we got across the street to the donut shop, I immediately recognized several people. Strangest of all was a transgender we've known for a long time, who we'll call "Nancy". He's typically dressed in short skirts, hair all done or a wig, lots of make-up, etc. This night - probably one of the most extreme changes I've ever seen - he was completely the opposite, in the most dude-ish of ways. His head was shaved, no make-up on, baggy sweatshirt and shorts. I'm surprised I even recognized him, but I did, and we exchanged brief hellos, as he seemed otherwise occupied. I desperately wanted to ask him about the change, but didn't get a chance between other conversations and him coming and going. If I find out, I'll be sure to write about it here.

Inside the donut shop were several of the younger guys we often see, who we quickly started up conversation with. Midway through that, another transgender - very pretty - sat right by us and joined in the conversation. I'd never met "Stacy" before, but he said he's seen us several times but never talked to us. Tonight he was very friendly and we chatted for a bit before I invited him to come to bible study. He said he'd like the free pizza, but didn't want to stay for the bible study. So, rather than be disrespectful, he just wouldn't go. I rarely hear that...most people are happy to take the food and run. It was refreshing to have someone express some sense of respect for "church" and God. A few other guys were there at the same time, who actually seemed somewhat interested, but also didn't really want to come.

In the midst of that conversation, I saw our friend "Jay" outside, who motioned that he wanted me to come out. We caught up for a bit, hearing about what was new with each other, in between guys rushing around and stopping to say something to Jay every once in a while. White guys, no less, which always looks weird in this area. Clearly some time of drug deal was going on around us, but I couldn't quite tell what all the commotion was about. So, we just went on talking about his desire to stop using meth - mostly for health reasons - and about the possibility of rehab. Though it was a good conversation, I told him I didn't think he was ready and wasn't going to quit. I could tell he didn't want the sobriety that bad. And if someone doesn't desperately want it, it's not going to happen. Even if they do, it's still nearly impossible at times. But I told him I'd follow up soon to see how that was going and see what kind of rehab he might be able to get into.

Though the talk was good, I was aware the whole time that, at least at certain moments, I'm pretty sure he was talking to me just to keep him out of trouble with the cops around. I don't think that's the only reason why he had started talking to me, as we are friends and usually chat. But the whole situation was just sketchy....and looking back, though I was very mindful of all going on around me, it probably was not safe in any way. Especially because the guys I'd come with were inside the donut shop, and as we headed to bible study, I realized they'd left without me. But in my lovely naiive fashion (which to-date has not hurt me, praise God!), we walked down the street to bible study.

It was a pretty good crew this week, probably close to 10 of us at the Refuge service. And amazingly, just as we started to pray for the pizza, "Stacy" walked up and joined us. He ended up not just coming to get pizza, and not even just staying for the service, but staying afterward to chat! That may sound small, but for someone to come on their own accord when they've already expressed disinterest - that's just crazy! Most of the time even the people who promise to show up don't. Unless we drag them there, haha.  He and I talked for probably a good 20 minutes afterward. Apparently he grew up in church (like many out here), and believes in God and the bible, but explains himself as "spiritual" and that he's happy because he's found himself, despite lots of hardship and trials.

It's hard for me to look in the eyes of someone who's not fully man or fully woman, and believe they've found themselves and know who they are...but I hear that fairly often from some of these people. When we try to be something or pursue something other than what God created for, it seems that to some extent we are restless until our rest is in him (thanks, Aristotle). So, we pray for Jay and Stacy and Nancy and all of those caught up in the crazy lifestyle of Hollywood and Santa Monica Blvd, that they would come to know him and truly find themselves in Him.

The End of a Life.

The following was written in conjunction with Jeremiah Jenkins, one of our faithful Thursday night volunteers and Refuge "preachers".

Death is unfortunately common on the streets of Hollywood, thanks to the proliferation of disease and murder. On Wednesday, a few of us found out that the life of one of our friends from the street, Andre, was lost to complications from drug use, HIV and pneumonia. The memorial service was held on Thursday, just hours before our team went out on the street. As we received phone calls from some of our friends, and walked the streets on Thursday, we encountered several mourners (please pray for all of them!)

One of those was our friend "Jonah", who has been hanging out with us more and more, desiring more church and interactions with God and other Christians lately. He had a picture of Andre from his memorial service and aside from a security guard that my group talked to for a while, most of our time was with "Jonah". His good friend's death had caused him to think even more about death, heaven, hell, this life and how we live it. This sad occasion had opened his eyes even more (and probably many others) to the dangers of living our lives however we want, pursuing every pleasure and using little caution. As I shared with him, I was reminded myself of how God sets up rules for us, not to be a killjoy,  but to protect us. He shows us His love in that way - by setting up boundaries from things that will hurt and damage us whether physically, emotionally or spiritually.


 By God's divine "coincidence", the sermon prepared by Jeremiah before he even knew about Andre's death, happened to be about death. The scripture passages included Luke 12:13-21 and Luke 9:23-26. The former passage tells the parable of a rich man who lived only for selfish gain and whose death came abruptly causing all of his hard-earned wealth to fall into other's hands. The latter includes some of Jesus' words to His closest friends right after He has told them about his own imminent death: "...If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed..."

As Jeremiah spoke, I had to smile (internally at least) at how so much of what he was saying and reading from the bible was addressing questions that Jonah had just been sharing. There weren't many of us at the bible study this time, but it almost seemed like God had prepared it just for those who did attend.


God has given us all a second chance at life and Jeremiah got to share that part of his story with everyone who attended the Refuge service. (The sermon is available online to watch atanytime: http://vimeo.com/8613292 )

Death is not something that most of us choose to dwell on, but it is inevitable for everyone regardless of how much we try to avoid thinking about it. Last Thursday presented an opportunity for all of us to consider our own impending death and reevaluate the focus and purpose of our lives. Many of us spent several minutes talking about Jesus' words after the sermon.

 As we asked ourselves how we were living, the reality of the recent death of Andre made our answers all that much more important. How about you -  What are you living for? And will it suffice when your life ends at the judgement seat of a holy God?

Christmas Eve in Hollywood

I wasn't able to go home for Christmas this year, so in lieu of that and a free Christmas Eve,  I decided to make the most of the day and head to Hollywood with a few other Broken Heart-ers. We didn't do our regular ministry even though it was Thursday, but instead went up much earlier in the day to hang out with some of the people we normally see on Thursdays and Fridays.


We started out at an AA meeting with our friend "Jake", who was receiving a chip for his 30 days of sobriety, the longest he's had since leaving rehab. After celebrating there, we all went out for a bite to eat before we headed to church. Conversation quickly turned to Christ, and his ability to heal and restore and the ultimate power that he has, that not even things like AA can compare to. Because Jake doesn't entirely agree, he and Nick discussed for a while their paths of sobriety, and Nick shared about how he'd experienced coming out of a crazy lifestyle only through the saving grace of Jesus. It was a pretty cool conversation, and even if we disagreed, I think both sides heard each other out well.


Then we headed to Del Taco, where 3 guys were supposed to be meeting us. Turned out to be 5 of them - Bryan, "Ravi", "Rich", Chris and "Tyler". I wasn't sure if Rich would show up, but he came and brought 2 other friends with him. The good thing was that there was a bunch of people, the bad was that we couldn't all fit in Nick's car. So Nick took a few people to church and dropped Jake back off for another meeting, and then came back for the rest of us. But while we were waiting, Rich decided he wanted to change clothes and would hurry back to meet us. We doubted he'd make it back...and I think he made it back in time, but thought we'd already left, so he went to the donut shop where he ran into some other friends. So, when the rest of us met up with Nick, we drove around looking for Rich, couldn't find him, and then just as we saw him and turned around to pick him up in the donut shop, Nick got pulled over for a fix-it ticket! So as he was waiting for the cop to write the ticket, we saw Rich leave with some people, and we couldn't get out and grab him because we were surrounded by cops (apparently fix-its are the most important thing they have to do on a street surrounded with drug dealers, drunk drivers and prostitution).


So, even though he was the person I was most excited about coming with us that night, we ended up losing him. But the rest of us set off to the Hollywood Church anyway for their Christmas Eve service. After church we all headed to the store to pick up some food for dinner...stood in an incredibly long line...and then headed to Antquan's place to make dinner and watch a movie.


For quite a while I've been wanting to have more time to just hang out with people we  meet, to do regular life stuff and share food and homes and get to know each other better than just a couple hours each week. So this time to just be friends and hang out with both people we know well, and some that we don't as well, was awesome.  A great way to spend Christmas...even  if there was all kinds of craziness all day from losing parking tickets, to getting fix-it tickets, to running late to church and losing people and not being able to get the TV to work, to watching the twisted Donnie Darco. I didn't include all of the mishaps...maybe Satan was trying to mess up our day...but it turned out well either way, trying to share the love that Christ came to bring to all  of us. Definitely not my typical warm, cozy, family Christmas Eve in Colorado...but just maybe one of my best Christmas Eve's yet. :)  

Underestimating God

Usually God stops the rain when we hit the Santa Monica boulevard pavement. Not this week. It poured down almost the entire time we were there. But rain or shine – we’re there!


So, with a plan B and C for where we could do bible study, we headed out to quickly gather anyone on the street we could find, then hurry over to Magee’s Donuts to ask Jack if we could hold The Refuge in his shop. When we got across the street, several of us headed to the security station to say hi to some of our friends there. They weren’t able to join us…but as Kayla talked with them, Jorge, Charlie and I got to visit with “Ravi’s” friend “Oz”, who none of us had met before. He was fairly quiet, but we heard about how he has a music label and is just working to do more with that, because he’s passionate about any kind of music. He had joined Jorge and Ravi for bible study that night, but doesn’t typically attend church. Both of them also joined us for Refuge later on.


As the rain slowed a bit, we headed down the street and ran into some other people from our team as well as some people they’d begun talking to. A young man walked up shortly after, recognizing one of the guys our team was talking to. They’d been roommates in a mental hospital together for a couple of weeks, apparently.

Maybe it was the influence of alcohol, or maybe it was just the right time and place, but this young man quickly opened up about how he’s making bad choices, being stupid (his words, not mine), addicted to drugs and alcohol, and wants to do more with his life. He acknowledged that he’s lost and wants more, wants help, and that God clearly brought him there at that moment for a reason. It was incredibly easy to talk about God, the bible, the peace and freedom that He brings, and relationship with him. But I think the alcohol also affected his ability to really listen and let it sink it, because though he agreed and was excited, didn’t seem to be completely responding. But he anxiously joined us for bible study (though he left a few minutes in…apparently the addiction won out this time).


By the time we actually got to Magee’s, my boots and light jacket were pretty much soaked, and I (along with many others) was freezing. But who would’ve expected that walking in we’d see about 10 people already sitting there. So, after a quick bible study out of the rain, we sat in groups and discussed what we’d heard for quite a while (I was with Han, Bryan, and Jonas, a guy we’ve known for a while but only see from time to time).

I know that at this point it shouldn’t surprise me that God can work under any circumstances…yet it truly does surprise me that even when it rains, we always find people to talk to. In fact, as I think back, I don’t think we’ve had one rainy night that didn’t produce a really great conversation…and those are always the days I expect nothing to really happen, thinking no one will be out in the rain and cold. Maybe it’s time I stop underestimating God.