Sunday, March 9, 2008
From time to time I manage to find just enough still, quiet, or even just a moment alone driving in my car in which God is able to use to speak. Luckily, God can find any moment to speak, but I know I don't make it easy, with the hurried pace of my life, constant thoughts and preparations and socializing and planning and doing. Part of the reason that we don't stop is because sometimes in the quiet we end up thinking about the things we don't want to face. For me, I sometimes ponder the whys and whats of life - why I'm here, what the point is, what all the striving and doing and planning is really for. And if it weren't for God, that would be a very depressing question. Actually, it kind of is anyway...because I realize that much of what I do quite often doesn't really matter - not unless it furthers my relationship with God, others, or brings glory to Him. It strikes me that what really counts is the time I give to him and the time I use to serve others. And even then, I so often miss Him in it. How tragic that is.
I had a time in Hollywood this week that showed what is important and how he really does use us up there...and kind of missed it, at least missed the depth and significance until several days later.
Because I was pondering this question of what the point is, what the significance of my life and my constant striving is...and I thought back to a conversation around 11:15pm in a Del Taco with 2 other Broken Hearts members and a woman we befriended long ago who has been the most consistent person out there. A few months ago she really started realizing more of what it was to follow Jesus and has committed to being at our bible study every Thursday night. Because she's always there, I think I take for granted what God was doing. He's totally changed this woman, he's shaping her circumstances to bring her closer to Him...it's such an obvious, drastic change that has taken place over time...and yet I practically miss it every week, looking elsewhere to see what God is doing and why he doesn't seem to do more. Turns out He is working and I'm the clueless one who's totally oblivious.
In our conversation she mentioned how she's thought about ending her life several times, and I forget her exact wording, but at least a big reason for why she hasn't is because she has us. "You guys are my family" she told us. "I know you're there for me." Clearly she has had many of these moments of pondering what the point is, what her life is worth, and questioning whether she should go on. But she has a group of people who keep her going, because she knows we care, we're there for her, and we love and value her. We're probably the only people speaking any encouraging truth into her life during the week, the only people pointing her towards her loving Father.
That's what we're here for, that's the point of this sometimes-seemingly pointless life. Bringing people to Jesus, expanding the Kingdom of God. At least for me, it shows me how sad it is to spend so much time working, striving, serving myself when all of that is meaningless if it's not serving to bring myself and others closer to Christ. How sad that I can miss what He's doing, even when I'm looking for it. And yet how encouraging that He is at work even when I can't see, and that he's really changing lives on Santa Monica blvd, one broken heart at a time.
I had a time in Hollywood this week that showed what is important and how he really does use us up there...and kind of missed it, at least missed the depth and significance until several days later.
Because I was pondering this question of what the point is, what the significance of my life and my constant striving is...and I thought back to a conversation around 11:15pm in a Del Taco with 2 other Broken Hearts members and a woman we befriended long ago who has been the most consistent person out there. A few months ago she really started realizing more of what it was to follow Jesus and has committed to being at our bible study every Thursday night. Because she's always there, I think I take for granted what God was doing. He's totally changed this woman, he's shaping her circumstances to bring her closer to Him...it's such an obvious, drastic change that has taken place over time...and yet I practically miss it every week, looking elsewhere to see what God is doing and why he doesn't seem to do more. Turns out He is working and I'm the clueless one who's totally oblivious.
In our conversation she mentioned how she's thought about ending her life several times, and I forget her exact wording, but at least a big reason for why she hasn't is because she has us. "You guys are my family" she told us. "I know you're there for me." Clearly she has had many of these moments of pondering what the point is, what her life is worth, and questioning whether she should go on. But she has a group of people who keep her going, because she knows we care, we're there for her, and we love and value her. We're probably the only people speaking any encouraging truth into her life during the week, the only people pointing her towards her loving Father.
That's what we're here for, that's the point of this sometimes-seemingly pointless life. Bringing people to Jesus, expanding the Kingdom of God. At least for me, it shows me how sad it is to spend so much time working, striving, serving myself when all of that is meaningless if it's not serving to bring myself and others closer to Christ. How sad that I can miss what He's doing, even when I'm looking for it. And yet how encouraging that He is at work even when I can't see, and that he's really changing lives on Santa Monica blvd, one broken heart at a time.
Friday, February 1, 2008
God's Work
"But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus - the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." - Acts 20:24 (NLT)
Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted any stories on here. Although my lack of time to write has been no reflection on the amount of work we see God doing every week in Hollywood.
God has been so good to me in these last few months. I've had very few instances of feeling unmotivated, tired, sick, or any other reason not to go to Hollywood, as has so often happened in the past. I fought Satan on that for a while, but lately I lexpectantly ook forward to each Thursday. I never think about whether I will be tired or not, or what I feel like ahead of time. I just go, ready to see what God does and what paths he will lead us down.
We've had a few rainy nights and many cold nights when the streets are somewhat desolate and more quiet than usual. But it seems we can always find at least one person to talk to. Last week it was a man I've met many times before, who explained to us his journey of getting to know Satan right now. A Muslim man, he currently wants to know more about who Satan is and overcome fears of the unknown. He opened up more than many other times in the past when I have talked to him, and he was there again last night where people were able to pick up on the conversation with him and give him a blanket to keep him warm that night.
There have been too many other great conversations to list them all now...but the people we meet are fascinating and every week I go home thinking, "I love this." I love that God has given me a passion I never expected, and gave me the ability to something I never thought possible. I have prayed consistently for compassion, generosity, a genuine love for people, and a passion to make him known. And he has been growing that in me, and it's the best thing ever! I'm terrible at apologetics and talking about God with people...yet he allows me to do it each week, gives me words and the ears and discernment to listen and try to understand. I love that I get to see familiar faces every week, or every few weeks (depending on how often people come out). And I get to know people I would never get to know otherwise.
Last night I chatted with someone who previously I had a fairly heated discussion with about Christianity and religion and the bible. But last night we talked about his music production, his passions, and hip-hop music. It was a great, fun conversation, and through it I also met one of his friends. There's something awesome about building a relationship with a guy in a donut shop, being the only white girl in eye-sight and completely out of place, and yet talking about underground hip-hop and religion as if it's a normal situation. And we didn't even need to discuss God much, because this man referred to our previous religious discussion a few times and knows exactly where we stand. He just needs to see it lived.
After our church service, a group of us was talking to a man who we see almost every week. He's a great guy, an agnostic who loves socializing with us even though he is completely against our gospel message. But while shooting the breeze with him, I kept glancing into the donut shop that we were just outside of, seeing people I had never talked to, who were sitting alone with solemn faces on. God kept whispering to go in, think of something to say and enter into conversation. It took me a while, but I finally went in to talk to a young man who I had met briefly just moments before, through his friend who had just come to our bible study. It seemed like an open door as he sat at a table by himself, staring out the window. I recalled something I had just seen on a video about the Denver Rescue Mission - and which I had just gotten done discussing with a friend from ministry over dinner - that when people know someone cares and loves them, it can make a huge difference in their lives. Knowing that I didn't have to be brilliant, but could just care for this person gave me the push to go talk to him...with no great plans of what to say...
"Hey, where'd your friend go?" Was my brilliant opener. I expected a brief answer (which he gave) and then a cold shoulder. I hoped to maybe at least exchange a few sentences if nothing else, and begin building the relationship. And after those first few (where do you work, live, what are you doing out here? etc) it turned out he was entirely friendly and open to chatting. I was standing at his side, staring down at him completely awkwardly because someone he didn't know was sharing the other seat at the small table inside the crowded donut shop. But after a few minutes that other person moved, and I was able to sit with him and chat about general things, which eventually led to what I believe and what he believes, and his take on getting to heaven and assurance of an absolute truth.
I step outside of myself from time to time in these situatoins and think "who is this?" I'm a little shy, not very good at making small talk with random strangers who if I passed by in Englewood (where he lives...although why would I be in Englewood?) I would probably think was mean or dangerous, or would expect a dirty look being a white blonde girl completely out of place. I should feel awkward in these situatoins, maybe a little timid. But that's when the Holy Spirit takes over and gives me confidence that I would never normally have to make conversation about God with a complete stranger. To smile and joke around with someone who is essentially my complete opposite. And even better, He gives me the confidence and words to steer the conversation to Himself, and invite someone to think about their life, and about eternity. And it thrills me. I love it. Mostly because it's so unnatural for me, and yet I see God at work through me, using me for his purposes despite my shortcomings, like Moses and Gideon and so many more.
And now I can't imagine life without taking time to share Christ with others. This is how God teaches us as well, builds our faith, and brings us joy and undersanding and deeper relationship with him.
Greg Paul summarizes this well, telling his stories of people from the streets of Toronto, when he says, "As truth becomes something other than truth without love, and vice versa, I cannot recognize where Christ is present and the Holy Spirit is at work unless I am willing to be truly prsent as Jesus to someone, with all the peronal investment and vulnerability that imples."
Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted any stories on here. Although my lack of time to write has been no reflection on the amount of work we see God doing every week in Hollywood.
God has been so good to me in these last few months. I've had very few instances of feeling unmotivated, tired, sick, or any other reason not to go to Hollywood, as has so often happened in the past. I fought Satan on that for a while, but lately I lexpectantly ook forward to each Thursday. I never think about whether I will be tired or not, or what I feel like ahead of time. I just go, ready to see what God does and what paths he will lead us down.
We've had a few rainy nights and many cold nights when the streets are somewhat desolate and more quiet than usual. But it seems we can always find at least one person to talk to. Last week it was a man I've met many times before, who explained to us his journey of getting to know Satan right now. A Muslim man, he currently wants to know more about who Satan is and overcome fears of the unknown. He opened up more than many other times in the past when I have talked to him, and he was there again last night where people were able to pick up on the conversation with him and give him a blanket to keep him warm that night.
There have been too many other great conversations to list them all now...but the people we meet are fascinating and every week I go home thinking, "I love this." I love that God has given me a passion I never expected, and gave me the ability to something I never thought possible. I have prayed consistently for compassion, generosity, a genuine love for people, and a passion to make him known. And he has been growing that in me, and it's the best thing ever! I'm terrible at apologetics and talking about God with people...yet he allows me to do it each week, gives me words and the ears and discernment to listen and try to understand. I love that I get to see familiar faces every week, or every few weeks (depending on how often people come out). And I get to know people I would never get to know otherwise.
Last night I chatted with someone who previously I had a fairly heated discussion with about Christianity and religion and the bible. But last night we talked about his music production, his passions, and hip-hop music. It was a great, fun conversation, and through it I also met one of his friends. There's something awesome about building a relationship with a guy in a donut shop, being the only white girl in eye-sight and completely out of place, and yet talking about underground hip-hop and religion as if it's a normal situation. And we didn't even need to discuss God much, because this man referred to our previous religious discussion a few times and knows exactly where we stand. He just needs to see it lived.
After our church service, a group of us was talking to a man who we see almost every week. He's a great guy, an agnostic who loves socializing with us even though he is completely against our gospel message. But while shooting the breeze with him, I kept glancing into the donut shop that we were just outside of, seeing people I had never talked to, who were sitting alone with solemn faces on. God kept whispering to go in, think of something to say and enter into conversation. It took me a while, but I finally went in to talk to a young man who I had met briefly just moments before, through his friend who had just come to our bible study. It seemed like an open door as he sat at a table by himself, staring out the window. I recalled something I had just seen on a video about the Denver Rescue Mission - and which I had just gotten done discussing with a friend from ministry over dinner - that when people know someone cares and loves them, it can make a huge difference in their lives. Knowing that I didn't have to be brilliant, but could just care for this person gave me the push to go talk to him...with no great plans of what to say...
"Hey, where'd your friend go?" Was my brilliant opener. I expected a brief answer (which he gave) and then a cold shoulder. I hoped to maybe at least exchange a few sentences if nothing else, and begin building the relationship. And after those first few (where do you work, live, what are you doing out here? etc) it turned out he was entirely friendly and open to chatting. I was standing at his side, staring down at him completely awkwardly because someone he didn't know was sharing the other seat at the small table inside the crowded donut shop. But after a few minutes that other person moved, and I was able to sit with him and chat about general things, which eventually led to what I believe and what he believes, and his take on getting to heaven and assurance of an absolute truth.
I step outside of myself from time to time in these situatoins and think "who is this?" I'm a little shy, not very good at making small talk with random strangers who if I passed by in Englewood (where he lives...although why would I be in Englewood?) I would probably think was mean or dangerous, or would expect a dirty look being a white blonde girl completely out of place. I should feel awkward in these situatoins, maybe a little timid. But that's when the Holy Spirit takes over and gives me confidence that I would never normally have to make conversation about God with a complete stranger. To smile and joke around with someone who is essentially my complete opposite. And even better, He gives me the confidence and words to steer the conversation to Himself, and invite someone to think about their life, and about eternity. And it thrills me. I love it. Mostly because it's so unnatural for me, and yet I see God at work through me, using me for his purposes despite my shortcomings, like Moses and Gideon and so many more.
And now I can't imagine life without taking time to share Christ with others. This is how God teaches us as well, builds our faith, and brings us joy and undersanding and deeper relationship with him.
Greg Paul summarizes this well, telling his stories of people from the streets of Toronto, when he says, "As truth becomes something other than truth without love, and vice versa, I cannot recognize where Christ is present and the Holy Spirit is at work unless I am willing to be truly prsent as Jesus to someone, with all the peronal investment and vulnerability that imples."
Friday, November 30, 2007
Good News
I am so happy to be able to write again this week, and once again share GOOD news...no GREAT news. Last night was a slow one on Santa Monica Blvd - no one outside of the donut shop, few people waiting for the bus. From time to time there are nights that very few people are out on the streets, and groups from our team will continue to pass each other as we walk around the area, seeing each other without anyone from the street to talk to. These nights can be discouraging and feel fruitless. That's how it felt last night, unable to find anyone interested in talking.
But after some praying, we found someone sitting at the local Mexican joint, where I find that it is often easy to enter into conversation with people. We'll call him Josh, although he goes by a female name, as he is transgender. He was very easy to talk to, receptive to what we had to say, and is friends with someone that I met a few weeks back and have had some good interactions with. It was both informative - as he told us some things we didn't know about transgenders and prostitutes - and also fruitful in that we were able to steer the conversation in the direction of Christ pretty quickly.
It was the first time I've had a conversation with someone there who didn't really know much about the bible or Jesus, and was interested in hearing what we had to say. I felt like we were actually able to share the gospel with someone who had no context for it and few pre-conceived ideas or arguments. It was incredibly exciting to share that Jesus died for our sins because he loves us with someone who had no idea. To explain that there is a heaven, and there's only way to get there. Quite naturally, the conversation came to "why does God allow all of this suffering?" which is a hard question that we only had a little time to begin to answer. We weren't able to continue a long dialogue, because 'Josh' was meeting a friend and couldn't come to our bible study. But I am praying that God would water that seed that was planted last night, and bring back Josh next week so that I can give him his own bible to read and learn more. I really want more time to talk with him. We tried to find him before our bible study started, so we could at least give him the gospel of John, but were unsuccessful.
At our bible study, several people showed up: Big Mama, who always shows up now, and a few new people. During the service, I noticed Sarah sitting with a girl who was crying and talking as Jerry shared his testimony. Afterwards, as usual, we grouped up to share, pray, chat, etc. We sat with "Lisa", a 16-year-old girl who had been drinking way too much and had been left by her friends when she wasn't allowed into the club. So, she ended up stuck with us for the next few hours! And at the end of our bible study, when Antquan led people through a prayer to accept Christ if they were ready, she prayed the prayer, and became our family member!
She broke down, feeling terrible from all the vodka she had drunk, bothered that she had used drugs over the last few years, frustrated that she's disappointing her loving and trusting mother, and extremely upset about an older guy who had been using her and said some very hurtful things to her, but that she felt that she loved. I almost cried watching her weep as she recalled the mean things he said to her, knowing how words can crush a girl's spirit, and reminded of hearing hurtful words and the feeling of all the nice things said to me being taken away; those nights spent crying over it. But because I'd been through some hurt, I was able to relate to this girl and encourage her in who God says that we are and what he thinks of us, and how any man is going to fail us, but that God NEVER fails. Words were just spilling out of my mouth like crazy as I rubbed her back and looked into her teary eyes. It was one of those moments that you think, "wow, I'm saying really good stuff right now without even thinking!" and realize that God's doing the work. Looking into this girl's big eyes as she watched me tell her that God says she's beautiful and perfect the way she is and that she doesn' t have to settle for men like that, how highly God values her, and seeing a slightly shy smile cross her lips....I don't even know how to describe it. I learned recently that sometimes it is by sharing our faith and ministering that the glory of God is revealed to us, and that's how it felt last night. Seeing hope in someone's eyes...it's an amazing thing. And how would I have been able to minister to her in a genuine way had I not felt some of that same hurt and learned the lessons myself?
Our bible study had been about letting go of control of our lives and giving it to God. I think back to the question of suffering that 'Josh' asked. While there are many reasons for suffering, I don't think they are something to blame God for. But when it happens, we learn to relinquish control, to lose desire for things that aren't God's best, and to find hope in Him. We value the better dreams in life, the delight in a Savior who created us without mistake, and who longs to walk with us through the hurt allowing us to know his peace that surpasses understanding. Without the bad, how can we appreciate the good? Hurt, worry, pain, and disappointment are not things we have to hide from or run away in fear of experiencing them. They are a refining fire that brings us to a greater depth of knowledge of who God is and his power, mercy and grace. I wouldn't pray that these people can go on to live pain-free easy lives, not at all. That's not good enough for them. I would pray against unneccesary suffering in their lives, but the bad is what makes us more like Christ and sanctifies us, and that is better than anything else in this world has to offer. What joy to tell a young man that this earth is not all we have, that it is fleeting, and when we trust in the crazy story of God come down to earth as man, that we can spend eternity in a perfect, tear-free heaven with our Father.
Please pray for these 2 invidivuals, that one would now live the life of a follower of Christ, and that the other would come to know Him.
But after some praying, we found someone sitting at the local Mexican joint, where I find that it is often easy to enter into conversation with people. We'll call him Josh, although he goes by a female name, as he is transgender. He was very easy to talk to, receptive to what we had to say, and is friends with someone that I met a few weeks back and have had some good interactions with. It was both informative - as he told us some things we didn't know about transgenders and prostitutes - and also fruitful in that we were able to steer the conversation in the direction of Christ pretty quickly.
It was the first time I've had a conversation with someone there who didn't really know much about the bible or Jesus, and was interested in hearing what we had to say. I felt like we were actually able to share the gospel with someone who had no context for it and few pre-conceived ideas or arguments. It was incredibly exciting to share that Jesus died for our sins because he loves us with someone who had no idea. To explain that there is a heaven, and there's only way to get there. Quite naturally, the conversation came to "why does God allow all of this suffering?" which is a hard question that we only had a little time to begin to answer. We weren't able to continue a long dialogue, because 'Josh' was meeting a friend and couldn't come to our bible study. But I am praying that God would water that seed that was planted last night, and bring back Josh next week so that I can give him his own bible to read and learn more. I really want more time to talk with him. We tried to find him before our bible study started, so we could at least give him the gospel of John, but were unsuccessful.
At our bible study, several people showed up: Big Mama, who always shows up now, and a few new people. During the service, I noticed Sarah sitting with a girl who was crying and talking as Jerry shared his testimony. Afterwards, as usual, we grouped up to share, pray, chat, etc. We sat with "Lisa", a 16-year-old girl who had been drinking way too much and had been left by her friends when she wasn't allowed into the club. So, she ended up stuck with us for the next few hours! And at the end of our bible study, when Antquan led people through a prayer to accept Christ if they were ready, she prayed the prayer, and became our family member!
She broke down, feeling terrible from all the vodka she had drunk, bothered that she had used drugs over the last few years, frustrated that she's disappointing her loving and trusting mother, and extremely upset about an older guy who had been using her and said some very hurtful things to her, but that she felt that she loved. I almost cried watching her weep as she recalled the mean things he said to her, knowing how words can crush a girl's spirit, and reminded of hearing hurtful words and the feeling of all the nice things said to me being taken away; those nights spent crying over it. But because I'd been through some hurt, I was able to relate to this girl and encourage her in who God says that we are and what he thinks of us, and how any man is going to fail us, but that God NEVER fails. Words were just spilling out of my mouth like crazy as I rubbed her back and looked into her teary eyes. It was one of those moments that you think, "wow, I'm saying really good stuff right now without even thinking!" and realize that God's doing the work. Looking into this girl's big eyes as she watched me tell her that God says she's beautiful and perfect the way she is and that she doesn' t have to settle for men like that, how highly God values her, and seeing a slightly shy smile cross her lips....I don't even know how to describe it. I learned recently that sometimes it is by sharing our faith and ministering that the glory of God is revealed to us, and that's how it felt last night. Seeing hope in someone's eyes...it's an amazing thing. And how would I have been able to minister to her in a genuine way had I not felt some of that same hurt and learned the lessons myself?
Our bible study had been about letting go of control of our lives and giving it to God. I think back to the question of suffering that 'Josh' asked. While there are many reasons for suffering, I don't think they are something to blame God for. But when it happens, we learn to relinquish control, to lose desire for things that aren't God's best, and to find hope in Him. We value the better dreams in life, the delight in a Savior who created us without mistake, and who longs to walk with us through the hurt allowing us to know his peace that surpasses understanding. Without the bad, how can we appreciate the good? Hurt, worry, pain, and disappointment are not things we have to hide from or run away in fear of experiencing them. They are a refining fire that brings us to a greater depth of knowledge of who God is and his power, mercy and grace. I wouldn't pray that these people can go on to live pain-free easy lives, not at all. That's not good enough for them. I would pray against unneccesary suffering in their lives, but the bad is what makes us more like Christ and sanctifies us, and that is better than anything else in this world has to offer. What joy to tell a young man that this earth is not all we have, that it is fleeting, and when we trust in the crazy story of God come down to earth as man, that we can spend eternity in a perfect, tear-free heaven with our Father.
Please pray for these 2 invidivuals, that one would now live the life of a follower of Christ, and that the other would come to know Him.
Friday, November 23, 2007
The Latest
I haven't posted anything in a while...and quite honestly, it is partially due to some weariness, frustrations, and many questions that I have been asking God. The fruit of our ministry is not always visible, and often takes a long time of sowing to do any type of reaping. So, while I won't go into all the personal details at this time, God has been doing some amazing things lately and answering many questions and putting his power on display. So... 'How can I keep from singing?' (or writing).
A few weeks ago I saw a friend of our, 'Mark', who knows God but knows he's doing a lot of wrong right now and doesn't believe he would go to heaven at this time if he died. He is very quiet, very reserved, and seems to have a bit more awareness and shame at the life he leads. I saw him dressed as a girl (I knew he was gay but did not know he dressed in drag), looking very awkward and shy, hanging out with a pimp, then tried to talk to him a bit....and then watched him get in a car with a guy. That is just about the worst thing you can watch happen there. A 17 year-old kid, obviously lonely and confused about life, waste it like that.
Last week, however, we saw him again, this time dressed like a guy, saying that he had been 'trying out' the prostitution thing and it wasn't for him. He wants to move to Utah to get away from the city and find a job and get out of the life he's in right now. He was full of emotion (anger and passion and laughter), which was amazing because he rarely shows emotion, and he was more talkative and open than I've ever seen him. Granted, he had been drinking a bit, but he was very honest and chatty with us. It was so good to see him like this, so much easier to talk to him and share our lives. That was a huge blessing.
Recently, probably the most amazing story that I've heard since being in this ministry, is that our friend Precious, who wouldn't even talk to the group when they first met him, became so weary of his life that he finally laid it down for Jesus. He accepted Christ and left to go home to a family who wants nothing to do with him. He got on a bus and left behind hard drugs, prostitution, homosexuality and the rest of his life in Hollywood!!! This is a miracle that only God could do. It may have taken years, but it happened, and encouraged us all in the ministry that we are doing. PRAISE GOD! We are praying for him like crazy now, as this is a great opportunity for Satan to attack, and where Precious has little support.
The ministry is growing, more people are joining up, familiar faces are returning to our bible studies, and we have a website coming soon.
Not only all of this, but this ministry is one of the most amazing things I've ever been a part of. It's like another family, and while we are so different and have such varied backgrounds and experiences, we are bonded through Christ. Last night several of us sat around the Thanksgiving table, sharing what we are grateful for and breaking bread together. What an amazing time! People of all ages, races, cultures and pasts, sitting together and praising God for what he has done. And one of those people, now part of our ministry, used to live in Hollywood, doing the drugs and Escorting and porn. Now he sits at a table with us praising what God has done in his life. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD?
A few weeks ago I saw a friend of our, 'Mark', who knows God but knows he's doing a lot of wrong right now and doesn't believe he would go to heaven at this time if he died. He is very quiet, very reserved, and seems to have a bit more awareness and shame at the life he leads. I saw him dressed as a girl (I knew he was gay but did not know he dressed in drag), looking very awkward and shy, hanging out with a pimp, then tried to talk to him a bit....and then watched him get in a car with a guy. That is just about the worst thing you can watch happen there. A 17 year-old kid, obviously lonely and confused about life, waste it like that.
Last week, however, we saw him again, this time dressed like a guy, saying that he had been 'trying out' the prostitution thing and it wasn't for him. He wants to move to Utah to get away from the city and find a job and get out of the life he's in right now. He was full of emotion (anger and passion and laughter), which was amazing because he rarely shows emotion, and he was more talkative and open than I've ever seen him. Granted, he had been drinking a bit, but he was very honest and chatty with us. It was so good to see him like this, so much easier to talk to him and share our lives. That was a huge blessing.
Recently, probably the most amazing story that I've heard since being in this ministry, is that our friend Precious, who wouldn't even talk to the group when they first met him, became so weary of his life that he finally laid it down for Jesus. He accepted Christ and left to go home to a family who wants nothing to do with him. He got on a bus and left behind hard drugs, prostitution, homosexuality and the rest of his life in Hollywood!!! This is a miracle that only God could do. It may have taken years, but it happened, and encouraged us all in the ministry that we are doing. PRAISE GOD! We are praying for him like crazy now, as this is a great opportunity for Satan to attack, and where Precious has little support.
The ministry is growing, more people are joining up, familiar faces are returning to our bible studies, and we have a website coming soon.
Not only all of this, but this ministry is one of the most amazing things I've ever been a part of. It's like another family, and while we are so different and have such varied backgrounds and experiences, we are bonded through Christ. Last night several of us sat around the Thanksgiving table, sharing what we are grateful for and breaking bread together. What an amazing time! People of all ages, races, cultures and pasts, sitting together and praising God for what he has done. And one of those people, now part of our ministry, used to live in Hollywood, doing the drugs and Escorting and porn. Now he sits at a table with us praising what God has done in his life. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD?
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