The Most Terrible Poverty

In the last year that I’ve lived in Hollywood, I’ve been struck like never before with the issue of relational brokenness. Does the city draw more broken people, or are those here just more willing to share their pain? I’m not sure, but never before have I heard story after story of jacked up relationships.

Whether hanging out with people at church, or on the street in the middle of the night – everyone has messed up relationships with parents, friends, and especially with those of the opposite sex. The only difference is that, with those in the Church, we have the love and hope of God, and support of community.

The issue rose to the surface more poignantly this week…

My friend “Alan” was moving out of rehab into temporary housing, so as I was giving him a ride, was catching up on his life as we hadn’t talked much recently. When asking who he hangs out with, I basically asked if he has any friends that he regularly spends time with. In short, his answer was ‘no’.

He doesn’t have good family relationships, has past trauma, been technically homeless most of the time I’ve known him, and addicted to meth most of that time as well. And he doesn’t know Jesus.

I thought back to similar conversations I’d had with others. It struck me at that moment – no friends to count on or share your life with and no God to put your hope in  – it’s utter darkness. Of course people turn to drugs and alcohol and a life on the street. I probably would, too, with the combination of all of those factors. As Psalm 31 says, “Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to him whose life is bitter. Let him drink and forget his poverty and remember his trouble no more.”

As we talked about forgiveness at our Refuge service last night,  another friend shared that he has only about 4 people he trusts and considers friends (1 being his dad, 2 being Broken Hearts members, and only 1 friend he’s found elsewhere).

After the bible study, I sat on the street, talking to a guy who hangs out with us from time to time but doesn’t talk much. It took a bit of prying, but after a few awkward questions and lack of response, he began to open up. For the next 30 minutes or so, he shared about his terrible relationship with his mother, and her repetitive choosing of criminally-inclined men over him. His dad’s never been in the picture, and he said that his anger is so intense that he knows it’s going to come out in a really bad way eventually (and yes, he did include the word ‘murder’ in that discussion).

He, too, has no friends because he doesn’t trust a single person in the world. He trusts God…but I’m not sure what that means, because he said he’s never read the bible. And how can  he truly know who he is in Christ and the love of a Father? How can he forgive without that knowledge?

David, at Basileia, often says, “It’s all about relationship”…which has potential to sound foofy and emergent, like God’s not enough. That’s not it at all. It IS all about relationship – starting with relationship with God.
As I dropped off “Alan” for housing, I knew he wouldn’t find real love and support there. It’s just a program to help him to the next stage where he’ll be on his own again. The meeting of physical needs alone doesn’t fix brokenness. Relationship doesn’t provide for every physical need. But the two in conjunction is a powerful thing.

Meeting physical and spiritual needs through relationship can bring healing and trust that have never existed - and demonstrate God. Relationship with God changes everything and makes all of the relational healing and physical needs possible.

When it really comes down to it, people just need Jesus.

 Love the Lord with all your HEART, SOUL, MIND and STRENGTH. Love your NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. It’s really that “simple”. Nothing else will create lasting change.

Remember the Poor & Broken

Thursday to Thursday, no night at Broken Hearts is ever quite the same. While some nights still feel dull and useless, experience continues to teach me to come expecting God to use us - even if just for one person. 

Last night was no different. As usual I arrived to the normal BH crew and our friends who come every week - nothing out of the ordinary. A man named "Tex" who we'd met several weeks ago - full of life and in a generally sound state of mind  - was, for the second week in a row, nearly passed out on the sidewalk waiting for us. Recently he has been incoherently drunk and depressed. He told us he'd just been in the hospital, his benefits had been taken away, he had no place to go or food, his body was full of pain, and wanted to end his life. 

As in most situations here, the only good option was prayer. So while part of the team broke off to invite people to bible study and find out about some skirmish going on down the street involving fighting and police, two of us stayed to pray. As I so enjoy about prayer is that, the more we prayed, the more seemed to be revealed and in need of prayer. Evil spirits, physical pain, emotional pain...he cried out to God even as we did, touching his limp body lying on the dirty cement where tears proceeded to pool.  He exposed the pain, the fear keeping him from getting help, complete lack of identity, and confessed lies, bringing much to light. 

After we'd stopped and began to transition to bible study (about 30 minutes late from the long prayer) came the harsh contrast of how the homeless and tragically-broken are treated. Two security guards came by to tell him to get off the sidewalk or at least sit up against the wall, putting on rubber gloves and preparing to remove any alcohol bottles that he might have on him and possibly move him.They finally left  him alone when we said he was with us and that we'd watch out for him. But that would not have been the case had we not been there...

(Again, to contrast, he'd recently been to church after I'd invited him, where within a few minutes he thanked me profusely and said he'd found a home and that people were so kind and welcoming. What a difference between the world and  the Holy Spirit!....)

Around that time, a security guard from the club down the street came by to chat for a bit on his break, and told us how a few weeks ago he'd been stabbed seven times after leaving work one night. He said that experience had completely changed him and now he is a believer and sharing his story with co-workers who are shocked that he's alive. Stabbed seven times, and full of joy and laughter.

Reflecting on the night, I thought about how I'd been having a "down" day and not ready to pour out for anybody else. Yet through intense prayer, then hearing this other man's story, and seeing a bible study form from what once again looked like an empty night on the street...I found restoration. The passion found in serving and remembering the poor and taking the gospel to the broken-hearted gave me life and joy at the same time. 

A few weekend ago at church, we were talking about remembering the poor. A woman who works to fight human trafficking and I talked about it later, and how she almost wanted to stand up in church and ask people if they have any idea what they're missing out on by not serving the poor. How we're missing a part of the heart of God and knowing him deeper by forgetting those who might be a bit harder to love or take more sacrifice to serve. Our pastor talked about this, too...how we're missing something in the gospel and in our relationship with God if we don't remember the poor. 

No, it does not make sense that pouring out should fill us up. But it does. Let Him use you, wherever you are. Jesus promises us, it is in LOSING your life that you will FIND it...as He also gives it to others through you. Don't miss out....

"Retiring" from the street life

One of the most important - and least-known - ways that Broken Hearts meets the physical needs of those we meet on Thursday and Friday nights, is through what we call the Street Retirement Fund. This past year, it was given to two individuals - one male, one female - to help them get off the street.

The fund is set up as a scholarship of sorts, provided to people we've been in relationship, that we trust, and who are actively working towards getting off the street and becoming productive, emotionally, and spiritually- whole members of society. Essentially, they are required to fill out a proposal with a brief explanation of who why they need the money for housing, and what their goals are as they get off the street. We will pay up to 3 months of their housing while they work on getting clean, and/or getting a job, finding stable living, completing a program, etc. 

Recently a friend of ours (we'll call him 'J') has been working on getting himself into permanent housing and finding a job. He is transitioning from a recovery program to SRO housing, staying in a shelter on Skid Row in the meantime. He had to have a deposit to get into the new place, but has no money. 

I talked to our board this weekend, and we decided if he filled out the Street Retirement proposal, we'd pay for his first 3 months of his living expenses. He would have been able to pay it on his own, except that his General Relief money has to get transferred from his old program back to him, and it would take longer than the time frame he needed to get into new housing. 

This morning he called me bright and early. "Are you up?" he said when I answered. "Uh...not really," I responded, incredibly groggy. I'd answered the random phone number, only because I knew it was probably him expecting money and help getting checked in. I hadn't gotten enough sleep all weekend and didn't expect such an early phone call. But he needed me down there, so I reconfigured my plans for the day and downed as much coffee as I could on my way to Skid Row. The whole process (not being able to check in as early as expected, picking up his stuff being stored in my Basileia office, getting a money order, eating breakfast at some sketchy joint on 7th street) all took WAY longer than expected. 

But as we talked about the Street Retirement Fund during errands, he told me that his General Relief only pays for about 9 months, and then they cut him off for 3 months before it kicks in again. His was about to get cut off and wouldn't have a source of income for the next 3 months. By us offering to pay for exactly 3 months (unexpectedly, because he thought I was going to lend him money for 1 month), it would cover his lapse in government assistance while he got settled and looked for a job!

When I'd thought to have BH help him, I had no idea about that. In fact, in order to stay in his housing he needed to have proof of income. By promising 3 months of provision for him, he could let them know he is covered until GR kicks in again. So cool to see God's hand in this whole process! Especially after Thursday night, when he'd been telling us that his faith had been lacking because he didn't really see God's power or provision much in his life.

What is also encouraging to me is that the Street Retirement Fund doesn't just give money, but helps set goals and check in regularly with our "clients" to make sure they're moving towards their goals and providing for themselves. So as we help 'J' out, he'll also be held accountable for looking for a job, applying for school, and paying for his own rent. Meaning with some assistance, he should be self-sufficient in  a few months...and hopefully with much greater faith in God. Ideally, that would be followed by him being out on the streets with us encouraging others with his story like our other STF recipients have been doing. 

Little sleep and a morning on skid row = totally worth it.

If you'd like to help support more men and women in getting off of the streets, you can donate here: http://prayer.brokenheartsministry.org/donate/

What's a Little Rain?

11pm: Tongayi  and I arrive in the 7-11 parking lot in persistent rain and stay in the car since no one else is there yet. I think out loud that it's going to be a slow night. No one's around, and who comes out in the rain anyway? But we always go, because it seems that when it's raining, God always brings at least one important person and conversation our way. It's always worth braving the cold and rain, even when logic says we shouldn't bother.

11:05: Our long-term friend 'Ravi' arrives with umbrella overhead, so we pull ourselves out of the warm car and join him on the sidewalk. Rambunctious, joking conversation commences for about another 10 minutes until Charlie arrives with Big Mama (who insists on being there even though she has tonsillitis).  

11:15: a few guys leaving the club are hanging out in the parking lot area, cold and asking us for money for hot chocolate. Charlie and I walk to Magee's, buy 3 hot chocolates for them, say hi to Jack, and invite them to bible study. 

11:20: We circle up for prayer - for each other and the night ahead. I ask God to use us, kind of throwing in the disclaimer that it might just be the 5 of us tonight, but asking him to work mightily whoever is there. I'd spent much of the night prior going out asking God to bring us people...but as I often do, I'm almost preparing for the disappointment of no one being there because of the weather. (I should really know better by now...)

11:30: we start walking around to invite people to bible study, despite the fact that no one is actually out on the streets. When we get to the donut shop, our good friend Jay is inside with one of his friends, so we step inside to say hi. A few minutes into conversation and catching up, "Devon" who often hangs out with us, comes inside the donut shop, ranting and raving about some girl he's pissed at. Trying to make conversation with Jay, Devon keeps interrupting about how he's not scared of anyone and what he'll do. He shows us a picture on his phone of him with his gun - pointed at his own head - all to say he's not messing around when he's angry with someone. Lovely. 

11:45: two well-dressed, white women walk into the donut shop (huh?) and smile politely, way out of place. Devon says hi, and when they leave, he tells them to have a good night. They don't say anything else as they walk out, and his response is another mumbled rant, starting with, "Stuck up b**ches...." I've heard this kind of thing many times. The "scary", "thugs" and "trouble-makers" actually get really upset when people seem afraid of them or unfriendly. There's a  misconception that they're all dangerous or don't want people on their turf or aren't friendly. They just want people to be friendly with them.

12:00am: we head down the street to buy pizza and commence bible study. This whole time, our friend "Rich" has been texting me, saying he's drenched and freezing and wants to be picked up. When we get down the street, several people are already there (where did they all come from?) Two girls join us, one crying, I think because she's so cold. Then Big Mama's husband calls and wants to talk, recently out of the hospital from a blood-clot in his brain. Thus begins the scrapping of all plans...

I'm on the phone, being asked about pizza, asked to pick someone up whose phone is dying, and to find clothing and blankets for these girls.  My back seat is full of the only belongings of another friend who I helped move out of his program earlier today so there's no room for carting stuff around. Our normal stash of clothes and blankets are not with me, we don't have a table to set up for pizza,and if one more person asks me something I just might get crazy...

12:03am: I give the card to Tongayi, who handles the pizza buying and food set up, and I leave to go home to find warm clothing for these girls and Rich, who's drenched from sleeping in a park in the rain. The box of clothes at home only has about 4 t-shirts in it, and I have no blankets. Crap. 

I head to my closet. I'm actually terrible about giving stuff away...especially when I know most of the stuff we give to people we meet on the street gets lost or stolen within a few days. Luckily, God often does a great job of overcoming me and my selfishness, and basically reminds me to get over it. I grab a few sweatshirts and a coat I have, and throw them in with the other shirts, then drive to find our friend at the park...unsuccessfully, because his phone is dead...while getting multiple calls from the team with questions.

12:20pm: I arrive back, where more people have gathered, pizza in every hand, and cups full of coffee and hot chocolate strewn everywhere. The one girl has stopped crying and is huddled up next to the wall on the sidewalk wearing Charlie and Ravi's sweatshirts. The team has decided that, rather than do a formal service tonight, we're just going to talk, listen, and pray for people.

The scene is a bit crazy: 2 guys - Crimes and Skits - are on one side, a random pair that Tongayi met, now engulfed in conversation with him; Big Mama and Ravi are watching out for everyone as usual, while Charlie is doing me favors, as usual. :/ Two girls can't decide what they're going to do tonight, not really talking to anyone, but happily receiving any help we can give them. Jay and his friend Cookie hang out, seemingly unaware of the cold and enjoying various conversations. JD, an older homeless guy talks my ear off and promises to write me a song, while Devon continues breaking into conversations here and there, and others continue to come and go. 

1:15am: Charlie and Ravi offer to go look for Rich out in the rain, so they head off while I grab clothes for the girls. They return with our friend, who stays in the warm car. All of the pizza is gone and the girls ask for more hot chocolate, so I head to buy more food or Rich and hot drinks for the girls.

1:45am: we look at the clock and realize how late it is. I assumed I'd be home in bed by now, based on the weather. But alas, no one has left. Yet the team is needing to get going. A few of us hang out a bit longer, but start to clean up and indicate that several people need to go. Charlie packs up his car with half of the crew to drive them all home (God BLESS him!!) 

2am: Tongayi and I finally say good-bye to everyone. Luckily, most of these people have places to stay tonight...if they're willing to brave the rain to get to those places. But leaving like that is hard. Only so much you can do...but it seems most of these people would've stayed all  night and chatted and tried to keep warm and find refuge at The Refuge....

We talk with excitement about meeting physical needs. And look forward to next Thursday when we can dive back into the Word and meeting spiritual needs. More importantly, we anticipate the longer-term opportunities, knowing that we are not to grow weary of doing good, and in the proper time we will reap a harvest. Amen.